Not Going Under

11/16/2003 11:00 AM, Yahoo! Music
Dave DiMartino

Who knew that when Evanescence's Amy Lee stood teetering on a window ledge in the video for "Bring Me To Life," she and her bandmates were also teetering on the brink of superstardom? This surprise hit, a dark and dramatic rock 'n' roll symphony featuring Paul McCoy of 12 Stones, instantly transformed Evanescence into the biggest new band of 2003--and "Going Under" only elevated their star-power even more. It remains to be seen what will happen to Evanescence now that guitarist and founding member Ben Moody has left the band, but judging from Amy's cool, calm, and collected interview with LAUNCH executive editor Dave DiMartino (conducted only weeks before Moody's departure), whatever the future holds, she'll handle it. "I just learn not to take [stardom] seriously," she told Dave. "This is a really cool ride; I just let it be a ride, and don't make it that it's my life and if it all falls apart, I'm gonna die. I'm not. I'll be fine...I'm ready to not do this. I'm ready to go be a schoolteacher somewhere. I'm just planning for the unexpected."

Along with discussing what she might do with the rest of her post-Evanescence life, Amy also chatted about what it means to be Goth, what she was like as a teenager, if success has changed her, and whether she's excited about the prospect of being nominated for a Best New Artist Grammy. Here's how it went:

LAUNCH: On a personal level, how are you adjusting to the surge of ultra-celebrity you're currently experiencing?

AMY: Well, I guess it's been like an overnight thing. It's been pretty incredible. But you can also look at how we've been working on this for a really long time: We have been writing this music for, like, seven years, Ben and I. So in a way it's kind of like the hard work paid off well.

LAUNCH: Do you think people's expectations of you have changed now that you are successful?

AMY: [laughs] Don't get me nervous! I try not to think about a lot of that stuff. I try not to get worried about what other people are gonna think of me; getting nervous about their expectations is sort of pointless. All I can do is be myself, so...I'm just gonna leave it there.

LAUNCH: What do you think it is about Evanescence that's intrigued so many people?

AMY: Oh, wow. [laughs] What about us has intrigued so many people? I don't know. I hope they can feel that we're being honest, and we're not trying to sell them something. I can't tell what sells records. I have no idea. I've been surprised by so many different things that have happened in the history of this industry. But I just hope people can feel that we're just trying to make music that we love. Like, from the beginning Ben and I said, "I wanna be my favorite band." And we just made music from all genres pulled together, trying to make something that we loved very much--not anything that we thought people would buy, or that we thought people would get into. It's just natural. So, I hope that's why.

LAUNCH: Do you find that the role of a woman in rock 'n' roll is limited, compared to a man's role?

AMY: Wow, your questions are really interesting. This is hard for me to answer, because it's a great question...OK, I don't feel restricted being a woman in the industry. I don't feel like there's anything I can't do. I'm just really, really proud to be here, and it's weird to me that there aren't a lot more females around me. There's kind of been this void lately, and I think that's a real shame. I hope that we can inspire people--inspire girls--to think that it's possible. It's really weird--I never thought it was strange at all until we were just about to put our record out, and everybody in the industry started freaking out: "It's not gonna work! We're showing it to people, and they think it's crap and they're not gonna play it on alternative radio because it starts out with a girl on a piano. There's no way!" And I'm like, "Why?" I just I didn't get it. It's never bothered me; it's never held me back that I'm a woman. I'm proud to be one.

LAUNCH: Does the current band at all resemble what you envisioned when you first put the band together?

AMY: It's funny--you definitely grow as you go, and things definitely change as you're writing and as you grow up, after you've been writing for many years. But I remember being 15 writing some of these songs, and wanting them to sound the way they do on our album--and not being able to do it, because we didn't have the strings and the choir. I actually pulled my high school choir out of class and had them come record stuff in the closet of Ben's apartment one day. So the idea was always there, but finally when we recorded Fallen, and I was 20, it was just like, "Wow, it sounds like I wanted it to sound in 1997!" So it's very cool, actually. We sound really a lot like I always wanted to sound, only I think we're a lot better than we were.

LAUNCH: Has your success put a strain on old relationships, or within the band?

AMY: It's not so much a strain to keep those friendships up, it's more that they just don't exist anymore. I regret to say that I really don't have that many friends. And it's not it's not a huge deal, like I had a million friends anyway. I really didn't. It's not about when we got signed and we got successful, it's about when I started moving around. I have always been a mover. Like, as soon as I graduated high school, I moved to another town with my band. We were working on trying to get signed, and then when we got signed we moved to another town, and we went to another town--we're just always moving. So I really have just lost contact with everybody. I have a few close friends that I stay in touch with that I know are my true friends 'cause they've always been there. But I'm making good friends on the road, like in other bands. I've always hung out with guys; I love men. I mean, obviously I'm surrounded by them all day with my career. I've got some cool friends in other bands, that sort of thing.

LAUNCH: Do you consider yourself a Goth, or an outsider type?

AMY: I know what you mean, but those two things--"Goth" and "outsider"--don't have to go together. I mean, I definitely have always been an outsider, but I wasn't dressed in black all the time, slitting my wrist in the corner, cutting myself. Never! I wasn't that person. I was definitely on my own a lot. I was an advanced art student, and like, really into it. Like, I would just go in the hall every lunch and just be making pieces of art. Or I was choir president. You know, I was a dork. But not in the way of, "She's one of the nerds." It was more like, "Who?" I really just made a big effort to dress down, and I didn't talk to a lot of people. I had one or two intimate friends, and that was it.

LAUNCH: If you didn't sing, what do you think you would be doing now?

AMY: If I could not sing at all, it's funny, but I don't think I'd be unhappy at all. There's a million things I want to do. I love to sing because it feels like your spirit can talk. But at the same time, there's so many things I want to do before I die. I would love to be an art or music teacher for kids, it's always been something I've wanted to do. I used to teach piano lessons--I guess illegally, 'cause I didn't have a degree or anything [laughs]--to neighborhood kids. And God, what else? I love visual art. I've always done that, and I'm still doing that. I would love to do that some day, just have a great show. There's a million things.

LAUNCH: You can incorporate a lot of that stuff into what you do now.

AMY: Exactly. It's very cool. Like, I've gotten to incorporate my fashion design into what I do, which is cool because I wouldn't really go into that first. I mean, it's something that's cool, but whatever, who cares about clothes? But for me to express the band and the lyrics and what's going on with the image and everything visually through clothing design--it's fun.

LAUNCH: What do you consider your band's biggest break?

AMY: The thing that got us on the map? There have been a few really cool times when we went, "Whoa, that's serious!" I know one of them was when we were at the VMAs; it was pretty shocking, just because we watch it every year. I mean, it's not a big deal, I don't freak out about celebrities, but it was just cool to be there. It was like, "We're actually here, and they actually know who we are!" Well, some of them. Most people didn't, actually! But yeah, there was that. And then we went number one in the U.K., and we were there when it happened, and it was a huge shock. Because I've always felt like our music is savvy for that sort of a market, and we like some of that music too. But everybody was just like, "Yeah, right--the U.K.? That's impossible. You have to pay your dues for a long time, if they even let you come over." But the U.K. just totally embraced us from the beginning--that was a big deal.

LAUNCH: Was the whole Christian rock episode troubling for you, or are you completely over the whole issue?

AMY: I'm done with it. [laughs]

LAUNCH: Do you have much contact with your fanbase?

AMY: We don't have a message board anymore, but there's some unofficial ones that are really cool that we visit occasionally. I think having direct contact with the fans is really important. Honestly, the only way that I really get to do it is at our shows. We've been touring since January, so we've definitely had some opportunities, almost every night. Of course, when you're playing the show, that's cool and that's intimate, but afterward, you wait a while and come out and hang out with them and sign autographs or whatever--and listen to what they have to say, most importantly. Because so many times it's just enough inspiration for me to want to really, really play a great show the next night. Like, "Your music helped me through losing my son," or whatever.

LAUNCH: Do you see clones of yourself out there sometimes?

AMY: There could never be a clone of me! I do see girls wearing stripey armbands and butterfly wings; I think that's really cute, but, hopefully I would really like to inspire people to just think for themselves, more than anything.

LAUNCH: What is your perception of how critics have reacted to your band?

AMY: I think my favorite piece of criticism actually came from the U.K.; it was right before they all loved us, and they decided they hated us the week before. And I guess the NME or whoever said, "Evanescence is about as Goth as a Pikachu painted black." That's my favorite thing I've ever heard about us. I don't know if that has anything to do with your question. Uh, I think the question was something like, what do I think about people criticizing us? Well, I feel like we've gotten a lot of good press--and a lot of negative press about...whatever. I don't even know. I just learn not to take it seriously. This is a really cool ride; just let it be a ride, and don't make it that it's my life and if it all falls apart, I'm gonna die. I'm not. I'll be fine.

LAUNCH: Have you had much time to sit back and put your success in perspective?

AMY: No. I haven't had any time to sit back and put anything into perspective. You kind of slowly realize what's going on as you're touring, as you're working. We're finally gonna get a break pretty soon, and I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I'll sit back with my parents and be like, "Hmm, cool, we've sold some records." Last night, we had our platinum party and that was really cool. I guess that was a little bit of realization.

LAUNCH: Do you like what you see in the music industry nowadays?

AMY: The industry? I think there's a lot wrong with it. But I think there's a lot that's always been wrong with it. It's the same stuff you've been hearing since the '60s, about artists getting screwed out of money and everything else. It's all true. It really does happen. And it's a lot more than that, I'm coming to realize. It's not about your record deal. It's not about the simple stuff that you think you can know from watching The Buddy Holly Story. You can't know. It's more along the lines of trusting people that are working for you, or just understanding people's real motives. You have to just really trust yourself, and think for yourself, and try to stay in it a little bit. I hate to say that, because I would love to just have nothing to do with the business of this. I just wanna be an artist, and just sit around and make art, and let people listen to it. It's not about getting paid for me. But unfortunately, you can't do that or you'll end up really hurt. So you just have to find that happy medium.

LAUNCH: Who has affected you on a personal or artistic level that people would be surprised to know?

AMY: Surprised? Um, which one can I pick? Because honestly, I think probably half of the stuff I listen to would surprise people, because I listen to everything. That's really not true--I don't listen to country. I don't have a single country record. That's it. But gosh, I really like Michael Jackson, and always have. Always been a huge Michael Jackson fan from being, like, 9 years old or younger. And I still am. I think he's great. I mean, of course, what he's doing now is very different. But even the albums a lot of people didn't like, I loved. So Michael Jackson all the way.

LAUNCH: So I take it you won't be doing a duet with Faith Hill?

AMY: [laughs] No, but actually, I have a John Denver CD, now that I think about it.

LAUNCH: Are you prepared to begin work on your second album?

AMY: Yeah, we're always thinking about the next song and the next record. The next whatever. People always ask me, do I feel the pressure? Do I feel the pressure of making the next album as good as the first one? And I don't. I don't know why. When we made Fallen, it was an art project. I just made music that I liked, like I said before. So I guess we're just gonna do the same thing again. Just keep making music that makes us happy. And if people don't like that, it's OK. We've already done that.

LAUNCH: When do you think you will know in your heart that you have made the transition to becoming a long-term artist?

AMY: I don't think I will ever know. I don't think it's ever gonna hit me, like, "Wow, I'm in this for the long run. I'm like Metallica or something, as far as the longevity of our career." You can never know. The one thing that I have learned--not just this year, with all this stuff happening, but even the past couple of years, just growing up--is not to expect anything, just to try your hardest and see what happens. And just be open-minded. I'm ready to this for the next 10 years. I'm ready to not do this. I'm ready to go be a schoolteacher somewhere. I'm just planning for the unexpected.

LAUNCH: What about the Best New Artist category of the Grammys? Do you feel like you are in the running for a nomination?

AMY: To have a Grammy would be incredible. To have any of those awards is incredible--especially so I can just let my dad keep them for a while. My dad is so proud. That's what those awards are all about: It's about your dad. So that'd be great. Again, I don't take it that seriously. It's not like I'm gonna do everything it takes, and kiss everybody's ass, just so I can win this one award. But of course, that would be an honor.